Desire
by OnceUponARumbeller
Summary: After Belle and Rumple are separated from each other again, Belle begins to write letters. She tells Rumple from herself and the events in Storybrooke. (The story continues after 2x22 "And Straight on til Morning") !The last two chapters are revised. You should read especially my note in Chapter 20!
1. Belle - Day 0

**A/N: Hi there :) ****This is my first Ouat-fanfiction. Belle begins to write letters to Rumple. How many letters and whether Rumple will read them...well, we'll see. Have fun. :)**

**(The next chapters will be longer, but at first, Belle needs time to digest the events.^^)**

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Dear Rumple,

I miss you already.

Somehow, I still can't really believe, what happened in the last hours. Everything went so fast, really fast. After weeks, I finally got my memories back and there's a part of me, which is still missing. You!

But I hope and believe that we'll meet again one day. And I promise you, that I will not deviate from your side from this day on!

Please, take care of yourself! I love you!

Your Belle


	2. Belle - Day 1 - first letter

Dear Rumple,

yesterday I saw you all driving away by Hook's ship. A few minutes before, I'm gone back again and I've waited and looked to the sea until the water has just engulfed the ship. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believe it. But you're not here anymore. You're no longer here with me.

But what I really want to say: I can still understand your decision. You want to protect me from what might be in the other world (By the way, I would like to know where you land.). This shows me, that you've changed. You don't act selfishly anymore. You try to do the right thing and you're not choose your power over the people, who you love. You try to protect me and you want to find your son and your grandson. You haven't failed in my eyes! You've made many mistakes in your life, but it's not too late. Baelfire will forgive you, just like me. And even if you missed your son growing up, so there's Henry, for who you'll be a good grandfather, as well as a good friend for Baelfire. As I said, Baelfire would be so proud of you and so am I!

And yet I regret that I gave up too quickly. Just after we were finally reunited, we're separated again. I have a feeling that with each time the pain becomes stronger. I miss you already so much and I don't even know how and when we'll meet again. How should it be in a few weeks or months?

Incidentally, I've spoken out the protection spell today. I hope it worked. I still wonder why you gave me the instructions for this. Why didn't you protect Storybrooke against further intrusions. But you will know why. For safety, I will ask Mother Superior for advice.

I love you and we WILL see us again!

Your Belle

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**A/N: Thank you, Grace5231973 and Blueberrysuite7, for your Reviews! :)**


	3. Belle - Day 1 - second letter

Rumple,

wherever you are, I hope you're doing well.

You said, that Henry is your undoing. But how will he be that? The future isn't always what it seems. But you know better than me.  
I'm worried about you. Yes, exactly, I worry about the big Dark One. But how could I not? I don't know where you are, what you're doing, how you're doing. The only thing I can do, is continue to believe and hope. And who knows, maybe we both eventually find a way to see or talk us again (Baelfire and Hook have managed to travel to another world years ago. So you all will come back.).

After I returned from the harbor yesterday (and after I calmed down), I wasn't sure where I should go. I finally decided to go to the diner, because Granny and Ruby always have an open ear for me and I didn't want to be alone at the moment.  
I opened the door and saw that they've all gathered there. From one moment to the other it was completely quiet and I was still standing on the wing. Uncertain glances prized me and in her eyes I could read, that they puzzled, who is standing in front of them. Belle or Lacey?  
Leroy was the first, who broke the silence and recognized me as Belle. He came up to me and asked me: "He really did it?" I knew what he meant and I could only nod and smile, even if neither the smile got in my eyes, still in my soul. Leroy gave me a hug, followed by Granny, Ruby, Tom Clark and a few others.

I went to the counter and while I realized, that I was the one who had to deliver the news, the questions already thundered at me. I took a deep breath and told them, that Emma and Regina were able to disable the fail-safe. I told them, how Tamara and Greg abducted Henry and disappeared with him through a portal. Hook returned with his ship and offered the last bean. I said, that you all left to get Henry back home. And when they asked, why I wasn't with you, it was very quiet again in the room.

I couldn't answer, because my voice failed. Even here in the diner, I felt like on a Roller Coaster: joy, sadness, security, loneliness, fear, relief. I stared in front of me, searching for the right words, but found none. Granny was the one, who finally came to me. She understood silently and hugged me consolingly. As much as I tried, but at that moment I couldn't hold back my tears. I began to cry very quietly. And after a short time, I was feeling a bit better and the only thing I wanted, was to be alone now. So I said goodbye and left Granny's.

When I stepped outside, I took a deep breath. I knew immediately this time, where I would go and after a few minutes I stood in front of your house. Luckily, I knew where your spare key was and so I walked inside. And now I sit here on your couch and write this for you just like yesterday. I hope, that you'll read it sometime.

By the way, it didn't happen very much today, at least I didn't notice anything. After I got any sleep last night, I fell asleep in the early morning and I didn't wake up before noon. After that, I was rather busy run things for the protection spell. As I said, I'll ask Mother Superior, if Storybrooke is now truly safe again.

We WILL meet again! I love you!

Your Belle

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**A/N: Thank you all for your favs, follows and reviews. I'm glad, you like it. :)**


	4. Belle - Day 2

Rumple,

the protection spell has worked. Storybrooke is safe again. I don't know how I did it, but we all need to have no more fear. Does that actually mean, that I have magic in me? Or was that a spell, whose instructions you just have to follow and only then does it work? I asked Mother Superior, but either she couldn't or she didn't want to give me an answer. But she could tell me, that Storybrooke is definitely safe!

Today a lot of things were going on in your shop. I was there to pick up our chipped cup before I went home (to your house). Suddenly, some people came in and wanted to have their stuff back. I have given them the things, which they wanted because it belong to them. Don't worry, your shop wasn't completely emptied. If you're back again, you'll only have a little more space. I hope it isn't too bad, but I just couldn't say no. When I left, I locked the door, so no one can come in. Otherwise, I tried to distract myself from thinking. I have tidied up my apartment, your kitchen and your living room and I worked a few hours in the library.

Thank you, by the way, that you decided to give me the potion. Even if Storybrooke would've been dissolved, I would rather die with my real memories. I know that a part of Lacey is still in me. But I think that Belle dominates clearly. With the other events, which happened in the last few days, I have to deal in the next time. But one by one.

And our chipped cup lives, you let me drunk from it and I got my memories and my identity back. That was one of the most beautiful and sad moments I was able to experience with you. Our cup stands now on the small side table next to the couch in your living room. When I look up from my pages, I see it exactly in front of my eyes. I am glad that the pieces haven't landed in the trash and you've kept it so long. Thank you!

I miss you! I love you! I'll never forget you!

Your Belle


	5. Belle - Day 3

Dear Rumple,

tomorrow there'll be a preselection for the new mayor. I'm curious, who will compete against who. Leroy has taken over the position of the sheriff for now. Otherwise, there was nothing important. Everyone returns to daily routine, but since you're no longer here, it's quite boring (at least for me). I worked today in the library. It distracts me from thinking over the day (I've enough time for that in the evening). Your shop is still closed and as long as you're not here, it shouldn't be used. Yesterday was an exception. I've also eaten for lunch with Ruby and Leroy at the diner. The two also helped me to forget my thoughts for more two hours.  
When I was at home, I cleaned the other rooms. Your house looks so clean now. I wonder, why do you have so many old things here. You could open a second pawn- or antique shop.

Can you actually remember, what I've told you long time ago? "I will go with you, FOREVER!" At first it was a deal and later a promise, and I'm not willing to break it. I'll find a way! We still have magic here and a lot of books and I'm not willing to stop with my research before I found something. I want to know where you are and how you are. I would like to hear your voice. It would be better to see you. But to hug and kiss you would top everything. At least I would be also satisfied if you could read my letters and I might be happy to get some from you to read...if I could read your beautiful handwriting...

Last time I wrote you one of the most beautiful moments between us. But the most terrible one, which we had together? For me it was our goodbye three days before. Otherwise, I've always known, that there was an opportunity to be with you again. Despite my hopes, I know this time it won't be so easy. But what else was easy in our relationship? Apart from that we've always found each other again until now.

I still understand your decision, but that doesn't change the fact, that I would have been so happy to go with you. I would go with you everywhere. You know, I could help you, even if I have no magic in me. Because I believe now, that the protection spell simply works, because I've followed the instructions exactly. Mother Superior could have done it too.

Anyway, as you know, I would like to see other countries and have adventures. So far, most were not very positive, quite apart from our own adventure. Although there were some experiences, which were exactly as I had imagined. And at the same time we both would have experienced something new and something exciting together.

I hope you're fine and that you miss me as I miss you!

Your Belle

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**A/N: I thank you all so much for your reviews and the follows. My first language is german and it's not so easy as I thought to translate it in a good english. I want to share the feelings and the thoughts from Belle (which I think she has) also in English and I hope that I didn't fail. ****If you still notice any faults or if you don't understand something, please let me know.  
I have a few different ideas on how Rumple gets to read the letters. Whether Rumple also should write letters, I'm not sure yet. Perhaps there will be a letter from him occasionally...if he has time. ^ ^  
Otherwise, I wish you lots of fun. Thanks all! :)**


	6. Belle - Day 4

Dear Rumple,

how are you? I hope, you and Regina and Hook have a truce. After all, you are all on a mission and it would be the last, if you make war on each other. I'm doing well, except that I can't sleep through nights. I lay awake until after midnight. I'm thinking and remembering of all the experiences we had together and I often wake up after a few hours of sleep before I fall asleep again. Of course, I'm completely tired the next day, but luckily there's a "black gold", which called coffee. :)

Today I've thought a lot about myself. The past few days seemed to me like a dream from which you've freed me. Most of all, I can't believe how Lacey was so attracted to your dark side. She was standing next to you when you've beaten Keith or rather the Sheriff of Nottingham. She just found it fascinating and it turned her on in some way. Her interest was aroused in this night and she wanted to see more of your dark person.

Before this happened, my second me find you quite boring, especially at our "date". Lacey recognized, that the people know you as a dangerous business man and then you were so different that entire day...so incredibly loving. You jumped over your shadow and you asked her out on a date. I still see your eyes and I know it was hard for you. Lacey felt only pity and the evening was boring for her. It would've been a lovely evening for Belle. If "I" wouldn't have gone, then we might had a date, which maybe hadn't been interrupted. But Lacey really wanted to go and leave you alone. Eventually she would have landed in the "Rabbit Hole" again, but then there was Keith and they started to flirt. She felt attracted even to him. In retrospect, I thank you that you saved me from a big stupidity. Only at the thought of the offer, which he had proposed to you in Sherwood, an icy shiver runs down my spine. So, after you chased him away and Lacey said to you clearly, she isn't Belle, she went back to the "Rabbit Hole". And then she met you again, when she was on her way home.  
The event with Dr. Whale was completely embarrassing. The poor guy probably didn't know, what was wrong. But I can understand your reaction. Lacey was so much attracted to your dark side, that you thought, this would be the only way you could bring me back. Also there was "me" again, who stood next to you and it was fun for her to watch. I apologized to Dr. Whale and I told him the circumstances. Fortunately, he accepted the apology.  
I find it also so terribly, that my second me said, that you have to stop the person, who's your undoing. Indirectly, she has incited you to kill Henry, even though she didn't really know, who you're talking about. She had a really bad influence on you!

A further point on which I had to think, is magic. How Lacey reacted to magic, it didn't shock me so much. Even back then in your castle, I was never particularly impressed by magic. I knew it exists and I knew that I lived with the most powerful and most magical being. But that was it. Whether in the enchanted forest or here in Storybrooke, I couldn't forbid you to use magic. I simply accepted it, even if I didn't like it. But as long as you don't hurt anyone, it was okay for me.  
But Lacey was just as fascinated by magic as of your dark side. She thought it was really cool, what you've all can do with it. She was so impressed, that she even asked you to immortalize her. A thought, which I think now, it's no longer so far-fetched, if I'm honest. But then I have only one condition: We both! Side by side! Forever!

Lacey is and was so completely different. And yet she's a part of me now. I drink, for example, one glass of wine (I don't do it very often and I don't fill the glass till the edge and I don't get drunk!) and I'm more open to magic. It depends on, what magic you use for and in what situations. I think, it also decides, what price you have to pay for it. I don't want to say, that I make you responsible for all your mistakes. You're the Dark One, so you must have a dark side and this side determines your cruelty. All your bad decisions didn't come directly from your heart. It was determined by your power. You're not as terrible as everyone thinks. Basically, you're a man who wants to be loved and you have so much love in you. You're afraid to hurt and to lose the people, who you love. But as long as you're the Dark One, there is also a dangerous side in you.

Besides, I loved it, how you've stood by me despite everything. Like me, you tried to take influence on Lacey. While she was in your shop, you had control over how much she drinks. You were around her. She was so accustomed at you in the few days. She found you more than just sympathetic. Personally, I like the way you cared about "me" and that I was your focus. Even if you have should take care more of Bealfire, but I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you. If you wanted to win back Bealfire, you had to let me go or vice versa, it was the same. I'm so sorry, that it has come to this!

By the way, the necklace you gave me is exactly the same, which I had dreamed of weeks ago. It was this morning, when I woke up and I saw you in the basement, practicing magic again. I wasn't really mad at you, but just incredible worried, that you may default back into your old patterns. And I thought not only of magic, but rather at the wrong decisions you've made thereby.  
So, we both were in your shop and you had a gift for me. I should turn around and you've closed the chain in my neck. I thanked you with a kiss and we hugged before Leroy came in and wanted to have his ax again. You said no or proposed a deal (I don't know exactly anymore). You went to him, pushed him against the wall and I wanted to stop you. Then you turned around and I saw you again as the real Rumpelstiltskin. At this moment, I woke up and went to look for you.

That's it for today. I'm really tired now. Tomorrow I'll write you, what came out in the mayoral election and how I felt, when I was finally myself again.

Good night! Sleep well and dream of me as I of you every night!

I love you!  
Belle

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**A/N: Tomorrow there will be a little surprise. I hope you have fun with this long letter. :)**


	7. Rumple's first letter

Sweetheart,

you don't believe, how much I'm sorry! I'm really, really so sorry! I don't know where to start, because there are just so many things. I hope you can forgive me. I truly believe, that you'll find your own way in Storybrooke. Now that especially Regina, Hook and I are no longer there, nobody will stand in your way. You can live exactly the life, how you want. Now, you've got the chance to have your own adventure, for what you have to wait so long.

For me, it just would've been unbearable if I die here and you'd have to watch it. Likewise, it would be unbearable if I had to watch, when you would die here. In addition, I couldn't really concentrate on the search for Henry, because I would only pay attention to you and want to protect you. In Storybrooke you're safe. I gave you the protection spell, because I trust you. You can also go to the Blue Fairy, but maybe you try yourself if the spell works. Even if you have no magic in you, then something should happen...and if you have magic, then you'll notice it anyway.

I thank you for everything you gave me and what you've done for me. No other person has done this ever (apart from Bae).  
I thank you for all the wonderful hours and minutes we had together. I carry each one in my heart and I'll never forget about it.  
You've burned yourself into me, brought my heartbeat again and so, you let me felt all the beautiful emotions.  
You've turned me into a better person.  
Because of you, I think about my decisions before I act.  
Because of you the sun came back into my life, especially after I've thought you were dead for almost 30 years.  
Together with Bae, you are my life.  
Together, you are my everything.

Bye the way, we are in Neverland. But as soon as you set only one foot at the island, you're forever bound to this world. This is the reason, why we're all still at the Jolly Roger. The mood among us is tense but quiet. Between Hook, Regina and me there's a truce and in the last days (the time passes quickly here) we have given us an overview of the island. It's quite large, but we've already navigated around the island one time. There are mermaids, fairies, Indians and many children (actually boys).

Now I'm sitting at the bow of the ship and watch as the sun goes down. Hook is on the steering wheel. The Charmings prepare something to eat and Regina...I haven't seen her in the last minutes. So, as you can see, I'm fine.

There is still so much more I want to say or write. But on the one hand, it's getting dark and on the other, I have no more words at the moment. I wish so much, that we see us again, but I can't say it exactly. I can't foresee this part. I don't even know, if you'll ever read this letter. Maybe one day...  
So, I think this expresses the most, I want to say:  
I love you and I miss you!

Sleep well, my beautiful Belle and take care of yourself!

Rumple

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**A/N: Yeah, I hope you liked this chapter. Thank you again for your follows and thank you Grace5231973 for your reviews. It means a lot to me and I would be happy, if others would also write one. :)**


	8. Belle - Day 5

Rumple,

so much happened yesterday, but I had to write you about me and Lacey. It was important to come down with her part and see how it affects me. I concluded, that it has made me more open to many other things. In some situations, I've more self-confidence than before. And I take things completely different, which made me insecure before. Magic is for me no more so "evil" and it's not so bad to drink a glass of champagne or wine, especially during special occasions. (By the way, this was also a point at which I was pretty shocked. Lacey drank so much and then not even a beer or something else, but also whiskey, scotch, etc. I don't know how my body endured this.)  
But I'm still the Belle, who sees the good in everyone and believe in it. I stand up for others and fight for the people, who are important to me. I haven't changed so much (and my clothing style is the same like before :) ). So Lacey hasn't a too big effect on my personality.

So, there was the primary election for the mayor. The meeting was scheduled at 10am and when I got there, everyone was already there and suddenly I felt as if I was too late. I sat down next to Ruby, who had kept a place for me. She assured me, that I would come just in time. However, it was obvious, that something was already discussed.  
Archie Hopper led the meeting and he calmed the crowd after he saw and greeted me with a nod. Finally, he announced the nominations, but it occurred to no one. Archie explained, that most of the townspeople were in agreement and they already have her mayor: Me.

I was completely shocked and sat motionless for a few seconds in my chair. With fixed gaze I looked at Archie and shook my head slightly. Why me? What should I say? What should I do? But the people elected their new queen. At least, I've felt so in that moment.  
So, the entire room was quit. Archie finally asked whether I assume the mayor's office. After a few seconds, I had caught me again. I took a deep breath and stood up. Ruby smiled to cheer me and squeezed my hand before I made my way to the podium. I felt all the eyes on my back. There wasn't much time, but as I went forward and climbed the few steps to the podium, I wondered what I should say. Do I really want this? Can I do it? But I knew only one answer: Yes!

It will be my adventure, my personal challenge. I've got the opportunity to give somethings back to Storybrooke. They all have accepted me kindly. Not only after the curse was broken but also as Lacey. And now the people voted, that I should be their mayor. Why should I not accept the offer, especially I can do really something good to the people of Storybrooke. And it seems like they're convinced, that I'll make it. So I have no other choice...and who knows, maybe I'll do the job even better than Regina.

"I...I don't know, what to say. I feel like my life is only a dream now. Everything happens so fast and now you've chosen me to be your mayor. It honors me, although I never really talked much to you, except a few people. I hope it'll change, because I understand that Storybrooke needs a new mayor. I'm going to assume the office and run it with care and good conscience. I thank you for your trust." That was about the words, which I said yesterday. Everyone clapped and were glad that I agreed. After that, the most people went to the diner. Granny prepared champagne or orange juice and sandwiches. Some people came up to me. They congratulated and we talked a few words. Incidentally, this was also the time when I apologized to Dr. Whale. At the same time he explained to me, why I was in the hospital for so long, but I'll write you this another time.

Ruby, Ashley and Leroy invited me to the "Rabbit Hole" in the evening. I was skeptical at first and wanted to turn down the invitation, but I've accepted. In retrospect, it was a great evening. The first time since our goodbye, that I could laugh again. We clinked glasses for my new job (yes, I had one glass of white wine, really only one glass :) ) and then we played billiards. Around midnight Leroy brought me home. We talked for a bit and I had almost persuaded, that I'm really fine. He was really worried about me and joked that I'm their "new Snow" and they would have to look after me. Yes, that was also the reason, why I was so tired yesterday. I fell asleep immediately after I turned off the light, and didn't woke up no single time. I wasn't a bit tired this morning.

So, I had my first day at work today. I was a little excited, but also looked forward to this challenge. Leroy squired me and together we entered the office, which have belonged to Regina for 29 years. It was a strange feeling, but it filled me also with pride. And then, after I had gone a few steps, my eyes fell on a glass box. There was a plant inside, which grew to the left side at the top. Leroy, who was standing next to me, was as surprised as me. He told me, that this was a beanstalk and that Storybrooke had several rows of them. However, Regina destroyed all but three magic beans. After I assured him, that I can work alone now, he went and searched for Anton. He wanted to ask him if it would be possible again to build a bean field.

I spent the rest of this morning with files to familiarize myself with everything and clean up the desk. Ruby appeared just in time for lunch. Of course she had brought something out of the diner. Ruby showed me the most important things I needed to know on the computer and how do I get into all the programs. While we were working, Leroy came back. He and Anton took the plant and they told me, that they definitely wanted to try to grow some bean plants.  
In the afternoon, about 15pm, we both closed the office. While Ruby went back to the diner, my path led me to the library. gathered up some books, which lay now on the table in front of me. This is how this day ended.

By the way, I had yesterday, after a long time, a conversation with my dad. Before we went to the "Rabbit Hole" yesterday, I wanted to go to my apartment to get my things. Well, I already live in your House again, so it's time to get my things there. Before I arrived the library he crossed my way and looked at me uncertainly. We both didn't , what to say. We went apart in dispute and haven't seen us again. But he made the beginning and apologized. Even before he could talk more, I opened the library and we continued to talk inside.

He said he had already accepted long ago, that I'm with you. But he just wasn't brave enough to come to me. He also apologized, that he has determined about me and send me beyond the town line. When it actually happened, he was totally depressed. So he couldn't come to me, because the guilt gnawed at him too much. He was also angry at you, that you have admitted this, although he had left me in your hands. I told him, that you weren't to blame, just as he did. Eventually we made up with us again and he assured me if I need help, I should come to him. And even if it was hard for him, but in the end he said, that if I really love you and we're still together, if you're here again and you love me the same, then we have his blessing.  
What do you think? Did you ever think to hear this from the mouth of my father? I hugged him, because his concession made me so happy. I assured him my love for you, but he wants to hear it from yourself. He hopes that you come back and don't break his daughter's heart, otherwise he would do something bad.

Yes...I still miss you so incredible and my love grows as my longing, every day a bit more. Do you hear? Don't break my heart and come back healthy!

I love you!

Your Belle

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**A/N: Thank you all for your reviews! It means a lot to me and I'm happy, that you like this story how I write. You see, Ruby is still a part of Storybrooke, I don't wanna lose her. And I have so many subjects for Belle in my head and I have also already an idea how both will read the letters from the other. But I haven't yet any idea, how they will be reunited. :D So, we need a Rumbelle reunion and it will happen in my story and in season 3!  
Have fun with this. :**)


	9. Belle - Day 6

Dear Rumple,

today wasn't so busy, but the job is more stressful than I thought. I think, I need to familiarize myself even more and make up for the broken-down work. Then many things will be easier.

I also was really down at noon. I was so exhausted, that I fell asleep. Unfortunately, I didn't have a good dream. I dreamed of you as the Dark One. But this time you let no one get to you, not even me. Anyway. you've pushed all away, insulted and enchanted them. However, your words were the worst, because they were so hurtful, especially when you were yelling at me. But as quick as the dream began, it ended and I woke up. When I realized, that I was sitting in the office, I already noticed the tears on my face.

I felt my desire for you so much and began to cry. Anyway, no one was around, so I let free my emotions. I don't know, how long I sat there and cried with my arms wrapped around myself. I felt so lonely and wished, you were with me. I wished, you would take me in your arms, held me, whispering soothing words and kissed my pain away.

The next thing I recognized, was a person, who suddenly hugged me and calmed me. It was Ruby, who came to pick me up to lunch. I felt a little better after a few minutes. We talked for a while and skipped lunch. We also arranged a cozy DVD evening at my house (well your house) and it was really nice. We watched "Cool Runnings" and talked for a long time after the film was already to end. We drank iced tea and ate homemade popcorn. After Ruby went, I felt really better. I wasn't so sad anymore and Ruby helped me a lot. I can tell her all and she gives me advises. She's a the best friend I have.

I wondered, if I should write you this, but I want to be open and honest with you. I'm sorry if I worried you or if I make you sad. Although the last few days went well and I could sleep better the last two nights. Well, I don't always dream those nightmares. I usually dream of our past, about things, which might will be or of moments, which I want. My dreams reflect my feelings. But when I wake up, I can feel the dried tears on my face every time.

I enjoy being with people during the day and I distract myself with work. I go to the diner for lunch or Ruby brings me something over. I'll go into all shops and talk with the people in the next few days. I want to get to know them and see how they're doing. I'm still working in my library and as you know, I took some books at home.

I can't help, but I must think of you in the evening. Sometimes I cry or I dream myself to sleep. I imagine, where you could be. I close my eyes and think of your face, your beautiful eyes, your smell (I'm surrounded by your smell in your bed anyway), the feeling of your skin under my hands (even though I've only touched your hands, your neck and your face) and your lips against mine...as you can see, sometimes I'm not as strong as I seem on the outside. But I keep fighting and trying not to let me down!

Please come home soon. I miss and love you so much!

In love, Belle

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**A/N: I'm so happy about your lovely comments. It means a lot to me! This was a sad chapter, but I hope you like it anyway. So Belle is influenced by Lacey and she is stronger, but sometimes she's just Belle, who totally loves Rumple and miss' him so much.**


	10. Belle - Day 7

Dear Rumple,

I'm feeling better today. The evening with Ruby has really helped me. Luckily, the day was pretty quiet. I left the office at afternoon and my way led me to Jefferson. I still haven't had the opportunity to thank him and this was the right time.

You know, he was the one who freed me out of the hospital, but I'll write it another time. Well, I went to Jefferson and shortly after I rang, his daughter opened the door. At this moment I saw him already as he came up behind her and greeted me kindly. He recognized me and invited me into his house. While his daughter went to her room again, we walked in the livingroom, where we sat on the couch and talked for a while about me and him. But I was there for a completely different reason.

He made tea and biscuits and put it all on the table. When he sat down again, I asked him about magic. Yes, you read correctly. Magic! I wanted to know more about it, especially about portals. He told me of his hat, which you could use as a portal, but his was unfortunately broken (even small things you could send to a place or get out of there). Since then, he sewed hundreds, but so far he hadn't yet succeeded. He explained to me the function of these magic beans and it's possible to see through a mirror into other rooms, which also had a mirror to look (perhaps even in other worlds). That explained, why you had suspended all mirrors in your castle. You wanted to protect yourself (and me) from Regina and therefore you rushed to the mirror, after I kissed you...

He told me, how his magic hat have worked, but you should also watch very closely. Magic is dangerous and it could always do the opposite of what one wishes to occur (in your words, "magic always comes with a prize!"). However, he couldn't tell me, how an enchanted mirror work or whether it had to be a special mirror. He couldn't also tell me, what I would need to. Basically, he was also "just" a Hatter, once with a magical hat. He asked, what I want to and I told him. Of course, he tried to dissuade me, but he had no chance.  
After almost two hours, we said goodbye and I walked back to the city. But since, I wasn't much smarter, than before. So, I tried my luck somewhere else. I knew, that there were two more places, where I could find something: your store and Regina's house.

I went in your shop through the back door and found myself in the right room. I looked through all the shelves and put books on the side, which seemed important to me. I looked also in all the boxes and chests, if anything interesting was hidden. A flat, dark blue box with a single silver stone on the cover was high on the top of one shelf and very far to the wall. It caught my eye and I wondered, what was in it. Even when I took it down, I could barely contain my curiosity. I opened it and what I saw, looked very familiar to me and I got an excellent idea.

I took all the books and the box and left the same way, how I had come in your store. After this, I went back at home. Before I do anything, I have to first read carefully all the books. I'll never stop fighting for you! So, I really want to find a way so I can see you or you can get at least my letters. And this is the reason, why I need the books from the library too. I've all magic books or those that have something to do with magic at the table in front of me. Maybe I'll find something interesting in Regina's house tomorrow...But now I must read, read and read.

I love you to the moon and back!

Your Belle

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**A/N: Thank you again for your nice reviews. I'm so glad, you like it as I do. It makes really fun to write. Also thanks for the new follows and favorites! There will be more letters from Rumple and they will read the letters from their love. :)**


	11. Belle - Day 8

Dear Rumple,

yesterday I was in your store and today I stole myself into Regina's house. No, I have no guilt. She has done to me much more and robbed some years of my life, so she'll have to live with the loss of some personal things, especially she doesn't need them at the moment. I've really only taken what was possibly important to me. There were not many things, but I found a little thick book full of spells. I don't know if it could help me, but now it's in my possession.

Maybe it's better that way, at least, all the books which have something to do with magic are in my care. Strangers, who could somehow manage to come to Storybrooke again, don't encounter them so quickly. Because of course I've done the books out of your house and taken them to my apartment and depending on what I need, I will take these books to our home.  
I also have brought Henry's book from the apartment of the Charmings and this was for the same reason as the other books from you and Regina.

Otherwise, I have convened a meeting in a small group for tomorrow. Granny, Ruby, Mother Superior, Anton, the seven Dwarfs, Sean and my father will be there. I want to talk with them again about the safety of Storybrooke. Even if the protection spell work, the question arises how long it will holds and whether anyone can break through it. Before you left you told me that Tamara and Greg work for "The Home Office" and even just before your departure you meant that others could follow. So I have to assume that the two always had contact with this "Home Office". Thus, these people know about all of us, except perhaps myself, because the two knew me only as Lacey or at least as "normal" person. Let's see what the others will say and how to proceed further.

My daily routine looks currently like this: getting up, eating breakfast, going to the office to work until noon, lunch, working in the library, shopping (while talking with the other inhabitants), dinner, reading, writing you letters, sleeping and between I'm thinking a lot of you.

I'm sorry that I wrote not so much today. The last few days have been extremely stressful. But now I have a mission and a goal in front of my eyes and that makes me even stronger.

I still love you and miss you terribly!

Your Belle

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**A/N: Thank you again, Grace, for letting me know, what you think about this story. It means a lot to me. Also thank you to all others, who gave me reviews and followed my story. Well, I think there will be a new letter from Rumple tomorrow. Let's see how's he doing. Have fun. :)**


	12. Rumple's second letter

My beautiful Belle,

as you can read, I'm fine. A few days have passed and we have more experience in this world. Hook told us a lot and I've known some things from the beginning. We have already met a few mermaids and fairies during our search. Unfortunately, we still haven't found Henry but we've some good hints about where he might be.

I don't want to scare you, but you probably know the story of Peter Pan now. Forget it, because he's not so sweet and nice as he was described in these stories. There is also a shadow which makes our lives difficult. So, I'm glad you're not here in some ways. It would be just too dangerous. I know what you would say: You're old enough and you can decide for yourself. I don't have the right to decide on you, because only you have this right. So, it's fine the way it is. Of course, this doesn't mean that I like it. I'm sorry that this happened but I have to decide in that way to protect you. I would like to change the whole situation, but it isn't in my power. Maybe I'm wrong, that Henry or another boy is my fate, because I've seen only a fragments of my future. But at the moment I still have to expect anything.

I wish we could be together. I miss you! Your voice, your laugh, your optimism, your joy, your accent, your scent, your eyes, your mouth, your hands in mine, your hair, your aura...just everything about you!

Please don't worry so much! I'm fine, and the others too. Of course we have disagreements now and then, especially when it comes to the approach to certain things. But we don't throw fireballs at us. I promise! Try to enjoy the time without me, because if I'm back somehow, then you won't have peace from me!

I must stop now, unfortunately, because the others want something from me. I hear them calling from far away. I write again, I promise! Stay brave and bravery will follow you!

ILY, my sweetheart!

Your Rumple (You're the only one, who is allowed to call me by this name)

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**A/N: Thank you again for the reviews. I can't say it often enough. :) I really appreciate it. I hope you'll like this second letter from Rumple. :))**


	13. Belle - Day 9

Dear Rumple,

now it's a bit over a week ago that you're no longer in Storybrooke. I wish nothing more ardently than to see you again! I know it's selfish, but the way you needed me, I need you. Of course you shall find Henry, but I miss you so much. You're the one who I can trust completely. Yeah, I also trust Ruby and the others and I can talk with them very well. Ruby has become my best friend in the last week but she can't replace you. No one can, because only by your side I feel complete...only at your side I'm home.

Ruby is a really good listener and she accepted my feelings for you. Tonight I was invited to dinner with her and Granny and we talked much. The two have told me about their lives in the Enchanted Forest and I've told them about me and about my time with you in the castle. Granny was very skeptical at the beginning. It's no wonder, because they don't know your emotional, vulnerable, sensitive, humorously character. And I can't imagine that you show these feelings so openly to anybody else as me (apart from your son). After the two had a glimpse of how you can be, they were quite surprised. They understand me much better why I love you so much. But the important thing is that they accept it. They accept me and they ask no more questions, unless I want to talk. When Granny went to bed, Ruby and I sat still in the living room and...well, you know how Ruby is...sometimes she's very directly...so, let's say we had some women's issues.

By the way, it's Monday and I was so busy with my work in the office and in the library etc. I've ignored the weekend totally. At least I had the day off and I also won't work tomorrow. Our internal meeting which I had planned for today, moved to Wednesday. So, when I got up today, it was already noon, so I've skipped breakfast. I went to the Diner for lunch and Granny and Ruby almost ordered that I should come to dinner at their home. I don't regret it, because it was really kind. But until it was time to go, I treated myself to a little rest and I've read my magical books at home.

Now I'm sitting in the living room by the fireplace on the floor and several open books lie around me. And if that works, what I plan, then you'll get to read all my previous letters in a few seconds. I pray to God that it will be so, and if it works, then you will read next time how I've done it. By the way, I've written all the letters again in case that you don't receive them...And so this day ends long after midnight.

I love you and I still miss you!

Your Belle

P.S. This is a little poem, which occurred spontaneously to me. I hope you like it:

Like a bright star shining in the darkness of night,  
your eyes are awakened in the glow of joy,  
I'm thinking of you in that way every day.

The day of departure broke our hearts,  
and yet there is only our hope that we meet again,  
maybe in this star system.

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**A/N: I thank you all very much for your comments. I just can't say it enough. :)  
I'm glad that you like the letters from Rumple, although I'm not always sure what I should write for him. But it seems that I'm not so bad at it.  
The poem is actually a song. In the original it's called "Nagareboshi He" and comes from the anime "Sailor Moon". I've translated the german text into english, because I find that it suits more. (Of course I've no rights on it, I've only borrowed the text lines.)**


	14. A magical night

It was late at night and yet he couldn't sleep. All the others on the ship lying in their beds for several hours. He was the only one who was alone with himself and the world. The current circumstances were to blame, but now it doesn't matter. What he felt was a familiar feeling. A feeling which he felt deep down in his heart and which spread slowly. It made his whole body tingle. On the one hand it was refreshing and soothing on the other. Yes, that was the feeling of magic and he knew something was about to happen. But he didn't know what it could be.

Rumpelstiltskin stood at the railing and was full of expectation. He stared out at the dark sea in which the moon reflected itself. Two torches gave him a little light, one of them was located right next to him. And out of nowhere, he heard a faint, dull thud. Immediately he whipped around his head and he couldn't believe his eyes. Suddenly there was lying a small bundle and a long bar besides him on the floor. He knew what it was in the first seconds and where it came from. However, it was a mystery how both things end up next to him.

He swallowed and before he sat down on the floor, he looked once more around in all directions. But the night was quiet and not a soul was in his near. He carefully took the long rod in his hands. The handle was decorated with blue and gold. The rest was made of glass. It was exactly the same magical wand with which he had bewitched Henry in his dream in porcelain before he smashed him. Shaking his head, because he just didn't understand, he put it in the inside pocket of his jacket. It was safer if no one, especially Regina, knew about it. Maybe he would give it to Emma because she was able to use white magic but it has time. The wand was safe in his hand at the moment.

Next, Rumple took the bundle. It was wrapped with two rubber bands, one on each side. He removed it and discovered letters which were numbered from 1 to 11. They were sorted and just folded up. With a pounding heart and trembling hands he took the first letter in his hands and put the rest right back on the floor. He knew immediately where it came from. Only one person had access to his shop where the wands were and only one person would write him letters. Belle!

He read all the letters one after the other and he couldn't prevent some silent tears running down his cheeks. A lot of different feelings spread throughout him: desire, craving, sadness, hope, pride, guilt, but also joy and respect.  
Belle wrote one letter every day and once she even wrote two. She wrote as open as he wouldn't have dared. Yes, when he spoke to her about his feelings, he was open. But it was very rare, and he wished that he had more often shown and said Belle what he felt and thought.

Now he sat there on the deck, staring at her letters. Shortly before, he had it folded up again, organized, and bound together with the rubber bands. So many things went through his head and with a gesture, he conjured a few blank sheets of paper and a pen. He has to tell her now his thoughts, his feelings and his questions. If all went well, he would make his beloved Belle happy with his letters. After all, she had already made him happy for now.

At this moment he started to smile. He understood now why she had sent the wand. She wanted to have a response and she should get it.

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**A/N: I have 30 reviews now and yes, thank you all so much! It means a lot to me. :)**  
**I hope, you enjoyed this special chapter. I like this chapter and it's my favorite so far.  
You certainly already know how Belle has managed to bring the letters to Rumple. I'm definitely looking forward to what you all say. I think another letter from Rumple is due, right? Then stay tuned, as I am. :D**


	15. Rumple's answer part 1

My wonderful Belle,

I can't tell you how happy I am about your gift. You surprise me again and again. I was standing at the railing. It's the middle of the night and I couldn't sleep. Now I know why, because you were and are the reason. I felt magic and a moment later your letters and the wand appeared right next to me. It's one of the greatest gifts I ever got. Thank you! It makes me happy and sad at the same time and yet I'm glad you don't hate me for my decision but missed me as much as I miss you. Believe me, you are a part of me too and I can understand you very well that you feel as if something important is missing.

It hurts my heart, when you turned around after our kiss and went away, crying. I would have hold you back. I would have kept you on your arm. I would have drawn you. I would have never released you again. I'm sorry and I miss you! But it's really better that way, because you're right. I want to protect you and you are really safer in Storybrooke than here. Also, I trust you like no other. You fight for your beliefs and for your people. You stand up for them and you don't give up so quickly. If someone can protect Storybrooke, it's you! That's why I gave you the protection spell. I couldn't it because I hadn't no time.

However, I see your assessment of me more critical. I wanted to change for you and Bae, but what has it brought me? Ultimately, I don't have either of you by my side. I really tried to change me, if only for you. However, I think it was a mistake that I have spared Hook and Regina. Of course we couldn't be on this ship without him looking down after Henry, but perhaps it would also not have come to this? You hadn't lost your memory, hadn't become to Lacey, I wouldn't have to decide between you and Bae. Bae would not be disappointed and I would simultaneously be able to spend my time with you. And then there were also the things I've done during the time when you were Lacey. I don't know what you're thinking about it, but I have done everything, so Lacey can fall in love with me again and Belle would have been back. I was very afraid to fall back again to my dark powers that I see no way out. Only the hope in mind that someday you're with me again, has saved me from major stupidity. I knew if I did something stupid instead, then you'll never forgive me. But just as you forgive me, I also hope that Bae can also forgive me and we start together again. I'm really glad you think so about me and continue to believe in me!

By the way, no matter how stubborn you'd been, my answer would have been the same: No! I could not possibly look after Henry, while I have you beside me. I find it so hard already, because I keep asking myself, how are you and what you're doing all day. But if you were also on this ship, then my protective instinct would be in a continuous use. I would only deal with you and couldn't concentrate on anything else.  
I only wish I could give you a time when we see each other again, but I can't. I don't know when and if we meet again, but I hope so!

You know, now I'm not so sure if Henry is my undoing. I do not know who will lead me next to Bae, but now it's too late anyway. In the end everything comes as it must come.  
And as I read, you're still the strong Belle, if not stronger. You've been through so much and every time you have grown. Even at my castle you were the only one who had dared to contradict me. You grit your teeth, despite that you miss your family and cried day and night. And in Storybrooke you were just as strong until the last moment. The load was heavy on your shoulders, to tell everyone that we left. I'm really proud of you and I couldn't think of a better woman by my side. But to read that you've finally lost the battle against the tears, breaks my heart. The imagination makes me sad, because I don't want you to cry. Your smile is just too nice and when you should cry, then just because of joy.  
After all, you have people who like you. Ruby, Granny, Leroy. These are all people who stand with you and support you no matter what it may be. In Storybrooke you're in really good hands and what you write to me, this reflects it.

So you've actually spoken ou the cloak spell. So Storybrooke is safe for now. This protection spell effect that Storybrooke is hidden under a kind of "bell jar". No one will see our city from the outside and no one can't enter, but you're not allowed to leave Storybrooke as well. So everything remains as before. How we'll find our way back, I do not know. But we are three people who can use magic, even if Emma still has to learn a lot. Until now, however, we have both found each other again and again.  
By the way, it's okay that you've asked Blue Fairy. So you too can be reassured. On the scroll was a protection spell you just had to follow. Whether you actually wear magic in you, I don't know. Only you can find out by try out other things. But be careful! You know, every magic comes with a price and it could be because of this magic a pigeon had to die. ;) Seriously, no matter what spells you use, it can go wrong very quickly. If you're not 100% sure, then go to Blue Fairy, she is determined to help you.  
So I can rest assured that my business is not going down the drain. :) Well, that people want to have their property back as soon as I'm out of town, was perfectly clear. I was wondering why no one dared, while I was in Manhattan. But perhaps my absence seems final to them. Maybe I'll think of something, if I'm back...just to scare them a little. :) I don't blame you for that. You had nothing else to do, because it's true. In some ways, the people have a right to their things.

You also don't need to thank you for the potion. Blue Fairy has made it out of a hair from Pinocchio and I had you simply retrieve the last second. I wanted to try it myself, but I couldn't. Not even a kiss had helped, and then I didn't want to bring you back shortly before we all die. That's why I waited so long. But then I heard that Bae was shot and fell through a portal. At that moment, my world collapsed. All, for which I had fought, collapsed like a house of cards and I didn't care whether Storybrooke disappears and we all die. But we both would die alone, not physically, but emotionally. You've had your drink spills and you wiped it away with Bae's scarf without knowing the meaning behind it. You said, you're sorry, but at this moment I couldn't bear it. So I took the pieces out of the closet which I had saved by magic. I gave you the potion, because I love you and I didn't want to die without you. I would do it all over again, because you're worth it and you deserve so much better!  
I'm glad that you've found your way back to my house with our cup. Take good care of it and don't brood so much!

I can very well imagine Leroy as Sheriff. Storybrooke returns to his daily routine. That's good.  
So when we come back, then not only my store has decimated, but also my home inventory? Should I be worried that I don't find anything? ;)  
The "old things" are all from our time. I have no idea how, but they have come with us to Storybrooke. The stuff in my store which has accumulated over time, but everything at my house is mine...and Bae (like the rocking horse) and yours.

Sweetheart, I can still remember every word! And these words, "I will go with you...forever!" were one of the first you told me. At this words I've seen you in your eyes for the first time and I knew that you're not like any other woman. For me, you were special from the beginning, otherwise I would have never suggested this deal! But I saw you and my interest was piqued. I didn't really need a housekeeper. Whatever I want it didn't matter because I could conjure it with my magic right into my hands. No, once again you're right. I was alone and needed someone to talk to. Except during my deals, which usually lasted only a few minutes, I was alone and by the time you go crazy. And then your father asked me to help. He had nothing what I would haven't already...except you! And you were so brave and you've struck the deal. I know that I can rely on your word. But believe me, I only break my deals for the people who are close to my heart. This is only happened twice: at Bae and with you. Well, you've found a way to me already through these letters. It was clear that books are your biggest help.

You know, I have no "best" moment with you. Every minute which I spend with you is like a dream for me! But the scariest moment was to get served up a dreary lie. A lie from which one can draw no hope...About a week after you left my castle, Regina visited me, claiming you were dead. She told me exactly how everything went. I was the Dark One and spoke with no one, because everybody was afraid. So it was not unusual that I didn't know too much. But why I've believed in the words from Regina, I do not know. But all of a sudden all my hopes were destroyed. From now on I believed that I never see you again...Can you still remember the Grail, who stood on the pedestal? I put it aside and took the place for our cup. So I just wanted to always remember myself and even punish me for it, that I have let you go. I mourned as I haven't since the disappearance of my son.

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**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews and the new follow/favorite! :))  
I hope you like that part. It's very interesting to write from the view ofRumple's point.  
****I post the letter of Rumple in two parts, because otherwise the chapter would be too long. :)**


	16. Rumple's answer part 2

I have my problems with sleeping too. My thoughts revolve around constantly. Thousands of questions go through my head. But we must both try to sleep enough, so that we are fit for our purpose. Sometimes it works for me and as I read, you are also well on the way.  
Lacey...oh God! I was so happy that we could talk to each other. We were closer and finally, you had no fear of me. After I organized the discharge papers for you, I wanted to pick you up and suddenly you were gone. I literally get very scared. Because of the trigger from Regina on your hospital bed, I could imagine where your were. I saw you as Lacey in the "Rabbit Hole" for the first time and you were completely changed. Not only your clothes were scandalous and shocking to me. Your alcohol consumption also has worries me and your character was so different. Of all the Storybrooke identities Lacey was the worst because she had absolutely nothing to do with you. A part of Snow, David or my true identity could be guessed during the curse. But you're right again: I had Lacey dear to my shop where I could divide the whiskey than to sit with her in the "Rabbit Hole". I don't like the store anyway.  
After our "first" brief conversation I went to David and asked him for advice. Yes, you read correctly. I asked David how he made it as Storybrooke David, that Mary Margaret fell in love with him. In return I owed him a favor. The very first time in my life that I owed someone a favor. So he advised me that I should show her the man who you had fallen in love with. But the more I tried to be good, the more I lost you and then I saw Lacey and Keith behind the diner together. I was totally desperate, afraid, uncertain, disappointed, hurt and angry. And I read all the feelings out to him. I have to confess that I have taken his tongue from him before, so he couldn't scream. It was wrong, I know, but at that moment it felt too good. Just like you, I immediately was reminded of the time when he has asked for 20 minutes with you. Although he tried to apologize before he got to feel my stick, but he made the apology with a silly sentence right back to nothing. Suddenly you stood behind me. I saw in your wonderful, ice-blue eyes and yet I couldn't see the Belle who keeps my heart. I heard the words. The same words which you had to me, only in a different context. It was a déjà vu, a slap in my face. You looked at me fascinating, grinning, your eyes sparkled, as I continued to beat Keith. At that moment I knew I could win Lacey for me. All the things which I've done was to serve you, to bring my Belle back to me. I wanted to impress Lacey, bind her, just to have you next to me again. Even I could have come at a potion made from Pinocchio's hair but no ... just in the last few minutes of our being the Blue Fairy conjured an ace from her sleeve...  
By the way, I was also surprised about your interest in magic and I am now still. You are reading books on magic, you asked Jefferson, you're sending letters with magic and ... You're still sure that you want to be immortal? Your conditions I would like to follow but I can't promise. I've already said that immortality doesn't protect you against murder. So, think about it very well! There are many who would rather see me dead and then you're forever alone. Or it could be that one gets the idea to hurt you to get back at me, just like Hook. Then I'd be alone...  
You never told me about the dream. No wonder it was a shock for you, as you've seen me a few minutes later in the basement, as I practiced magic. Do you like the chain or have you too many bad memories from it? By the way, didn't you want me to write how you felt when you had your memory back?

Congratulations! You'll be an excellent mayor, even if the beginning is hard. But I know you can do it. You have great people who are behind you, great friends who help you and you have a man who is always in your heart and try to help you. Even if you can't see this man, he's always with you! And I can understand the people very well. No one else, except maybe Granny, can do it.  
You have to write more about the beans, if there is a success to be seen. I hope so, maybe it would be our ticket to home.  
So, your father has dared to talk to you at least. It took long. But I'm glad that you have reconciled, although I can't believe what he said. You're really sure that he agrees with us?

What I read next...Belle, sweetheart...I thank you so much for your honest words! Thank you for your trust! Believe me, I dream of us too, but to read how much you are suffering, it's almost breaks my heart. You can write to me about your dreams, if you want. But the image of you crying makes me sad. I think of our goodbye every time. As I've written, I don't want that you're sad, but of course you have the right. It has nothing to do with weakness! I know that you fight. Sometimes we have no choice but to cry. But don't worry about me, please continue to write to me so openly. With time it will become easier. The pain and longing are never completely fade, but you learn to deal with it.

I thought you only have my books and a few from the library. You're not really broken in Regina's house? I can't believe it and I've to really pull together, so I won't tell it to Regina. Be glad that she is not in the your near. I think she would freak out. First the mayor's office, then her books...especially also her beloved book of magic...But please be careful with it! It's dangerous and can conjure up some terrible things. Please don't speak out any of these spells, most of them are dark magic and have definitely a prize! Well, at least I know now how you have conjured up the letters and the wand to me.

Yes, now I have "fought" my way through each of your letters. Thank you again for your honest words. They mean a lot to me! I'm really glad to know you. You give me so much, like no one. Love, strength, power, hope, and a reason to find a way back to Storybrooke. You know me better than I know myself.  
As for us, so there are few things I regret: When I've cast you out of my castle. When I took you with me to the town line. When I yelled at you after our first kiss. I haven't yet told you all of me...and...I didn't show you my love for you in an adequately way before our separation. I have left you in Storybrooke because I love you. I gave you the potion, because I love you. We kissed, because we love each other. We said that we love each other...  
As our tears have stopped just before Storybrooke was saved, I was faced with a decision which I would eventually regret it now as well. However, it wouldn't have been right. It would have been for me a mixture of desperation and love at this moment, not to mention the place. But you deserve so much more than just a quickie. I always wanted to wait for the right moment, but unfortunately this never came.  
Now I live with the imagination and you can already prepare yourself: If I come back and we finally have time for us, then I will love you so, like definitely no other man before! I'll spoil and seduce you! My promise from the previous letter is true: When we are together again, then you won't have rest of me so quickly.

I miss you...our conversations, our kisses, our touch, your laugh, your angry eyes, your courage, your humor, your strength, your convictions...And I look forward to the day when I finally shut yourself in my arms again! I might even write so much more, but another time, because the letter is already very long. Take care of yourself!

I love you, my beauty!

Rumple

P.S.: Thank you for this poem! It's very wonderful!

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**A/N: Thanks all for the reviews, follows and favorits. They're so kind. It helps me a lot and it makes much more fun to go on with writing. I'm sorry that this chapter comes today, but I can't write with a migraine because my head deserted every time.**  
**I've set the rating to T, because it seems safer to me.  
I hope you like the letter from Rumple. Of course, there will be now more letters between our dearies. In the next chapter we look how Belle will react. While Rumple wrote the letter, it's still the same evening/night in Storybrooke. Have fun and please let me know, what you think! :)**


	17. When wishes come true

When Belle had finished her letter, she took two magical wands out of the box. Both were out of pure glass. The one handle was blue and decorated with pure gold. The other one was just golden. She laid one carefully on the top of the letters, which she had previously tied together with a rubber band. The other wand she held it in her hand.  
Whether or not she could conjure, it just had to work. Robin Hood was able to heal his love with such a magic wand, so she could conjure the letters to Rumple. Only when she firmly believes, her wish would come true. Magic have a lot to do with feelings and faith. So she had to do nothing more than think about Rumple and be guided by her emotions. So she had read it in some of the books and Rumple had also explained to her or rather Lacey.

With a last look at the letters and the wand in her hand, Belle took another deep breath. She held her hand over the bundle and closed her eyes. She thought of her farewell. The tears she had cried. At their last kiss. The sadness she felt since and how much she missed him. She imagined how Rumple looked in the Enchanted Forest and in Storybrooke. She tried to remember his smell, his voice, his lips, which were curled too rarely into a smile.

And suddenly she felt the rod began to vibrate slightly in her hand. She opened carefully her eyes and saw a golden and glittering aura, which surrounded the wand. It worked. It was just like in the forest, where she was able to see Robin Hood doing the same. And then Belle thought of only one thing: Rumple must receive the letters. She tried to imagine it with open eyes. How he finds the letters, opens them and reads them. Over and over again. The aura of magic enveloped the rod bundle and then all was gone as if it had never existed. The bundle, the wand and the magic.

A few moments later, Belle was still sitting motionless on the ground. She had really done it. She had used magic and it was more exhausting than she could imagine. Would the letters arrive? She could only hope and wait.  
She stood up slowly and felt her whole body trembled. Previously, she was excited, now she was just tired. Hood didn't look like he was totally exhausted afterwards, but he was also physically stronger.  
She put her used wand carefully back in the box and locked it. As long as she would use any of them, they had to be kept safe. With slow steps, she turned off all the lights and climbed the stairs up to the second floor. In a few minutes she lay in bed and fell asleep from exhaustion.

During the night she wasn't awake and then she opened her eyes the next morning and was totally rested. She couldn't even remember any dreams. The sun was out for several hours and Belle could only guess that the lunch time was imminent. She felt good and she had strength and hope again. Today was her second day off and so she remained for a while in bed.  
She rolled onto her right side and looked at the empty spot next to her. There were not many nights when they slept together in the bed, and even if nothing happened between them, they just enjoyed waking up next to each other. Sometimes in his arms, sometimes her head lay on his chest or her feet were cold at night and they searched the heat under his blanket. However, it had happened so much in the recent years and days. Suddenly it went all too quickly and she was glad that he had given her the library with the apartment. In this way they were able to find each other and yet have the necessary distance. It was not just that she was against that Rumple practiced magic, because she knew what he wanted to achieve.  
She closed her eyes and imagined how he would lie beside her. She would roll to him and cuddle him. If he were still asleep, she would watch him or kiss him awake. Maybe she would prepare him breakfast and bring it in bed, or, or, or ...

At the thought of breakfast her stomach growled. Belle sighed and stood up, stretched, and went into the bathroom. Half an hour later she ate a bite and after she was done, she gathered up the books she had read to the end. A few minutes later she was on her way to the library. She had nothing else to do today, and now she was looking forward to working at her favorite place. On her way she met Archie, with whom she spoke briefly.  
When Belle finally arrived at her destination, she unlocked the door, hitched it and went inside. The sunlight flooded the entire room and dipped it in a pleasant light. Her eyes roamed over her actual work. She breathed in the smell of old books and smiled with satisfaction. Suddenly she paused in her movement, her smile disappeared and the books fell out of her hand.

Her eyes got stuck at the bar. There lay several letters and on top a single red rose. Belle gasped as she realized that she had held her breath and swallowed hard. Everyone in Storybrooke could lay their things there, but she knew that there was only one, who also had a reason.  
Again she was trembling, but this time because of excitement and joy, and so she went to the reception. She took the rose gently in her hand, as if she could break it. She closed her eyes and sniffed at her, like the time in his castle. The image of that time was so present at this moment. Some tears made their way down her cheek, but she didn't mind. She opened her eyes again and put the rose on the table with a lot of care. While her heart beating against her chest, she opened the first letter and began to read.

Again and again she read his words, is impressed on his writing and letter. A few tears ran down her cheek, which she wiping it off with the back of her hand. It had worked! She really had conjured. Rumple had received her letters and he responded. He loved her and missed her. He was in Neverland, and he was fine. While she was still crying, she began to laugh. She was so happy.  
Of course she had told anyone about it but she had to tell Ruby now. So she took the letters and the rose and ran to the diner.

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**A/N: Thanks to Grace and MissiB for your reviews. I'm looking forward every time. :)  
As always, I'm curious what you all are saying and thinking about this chapter. And of course, I hope that you all enjoy it. Feel free to leave a review. I really appreciate it. :)**


	18. Belle - Day 10

My dear Rumple,

I still can't believe it. You got my letters and you wrote me back. I wasn't as happy as now in a long time. Thank you so much! It's nice to read all the things, to have something from you in my hands, to see your writing! Thanks also for the rose! She is now in the bedroom on the night table next to me. I found the gesture so lovely. It immediately reminded me of our time together in your castle, when you gave me the red rose.

You need to apologize for anything! I can understand your decisions, even if I didn't like all of them. But I can understand you. It was very hard for you and yet you weren't a coward in the recent weeks. You did what you had to do, you fought and you've shown an incredible inner strength. Although you no longer wanted to live towards the end, there was still a spark of hope in you. Through this spark, you got not only me back, but you will also be able to join your family. Meanwhile, I think if you find Henry, then you'll also find Baelfire and certainly a way back to Storybrooke.

I won't blame you for your actions while I was Lacey. Why should I? I was the one who encouraged you to do so. I can't blame you for it, but must take responsibility looking at me. You've taken Keith also his tongue. It was certainly unnecessary, but now we can't change it.  
As for the rest, I think everything has a reason. All the events have causes in you that you rethink your action. So you conclude that it can't go on as before. You had to change something and you did. You can't change the past and it's useless if you ask yourself again and again what could have been different. It's important that you now look forward and pull the good from the past events. Attempts to use your knowledge for you and make it. I know you can do it! The first step to making Baelfire forgives you: Forgive yourself first!

I think it's...sweet (although you certainly do not want to hear it so) that you've asked David how I can fall in love with you again. It was definitely not easy, I can imagine. (Was that the favor with the tears?) The only question is what has prompted me to fall in love with you? It was definitely the fact that you're so incredibly profound. Under your thick skin you have a soft core. I would (and will) necessarily know more about you and I've noticed that you are emotional, empathetic and sensitive. Then there's your special humor. Although the situations or themes sometimes weren't funny, you have nevertheless made me laugh with your sayings. Finally, I was also intrigued by your appearance, from your voice, your giggles and your clothing style (especially your leather pants...). I loved our conversations and I always found it amusing how you looked at me when I had the last word (because it wasn't something you expect from an other person).  
So it wasn't love at first sight, but over time I have felt comfortable in your near and I liked you more and more. At first I was pretty confused about it, but with time I've accepted it. You were and are also a man who doesn't look at me with a lustful glance. Every time when the soldiers and advisors of my father saw me, then they watched me as fresh meat and I felt as if at any moment they would devour me with skin and hair. Gaston couldn't nearly wait for our wedding night. With you, however, I could be 100% sure that you wouldn't touch me without my agreement. And when we kissed, I really wanted it. I wanted it not just because the kiss could break your curse, but simply because I was wondering some time ago, how would your lips fell on mine.

Because of the magic...as already written, I'm open to it, but I'm very careful. I've sent you my letters and this wand, but only because I've seen it that Hood did the same in Sherwood. He had managed to heal his love, so I thought that I would do it too. And it has indeed worked.  
I've read some books, but the magic book of Regina and the wands (except for one) are safely hidden. I've seen too many times what magic can do, so I'm guaranteed not stretch my luck. And the thing with the immortality I think to myself well then again...or I have to kill you then, unfortunately, as if I should die. ;)

But do you really think that you would stand in my way? Even if everything would have been different, I would still go my way. You know: No one will decide my fate but me. Especially you would rather support me in everything! My adventure has only just begun and of course I like it, but I'd feel more comfortable if you were with me. I could ask you for advice in every situation and in the evening we were both not so alone. Sure, I've found some great friends who support me also, but I can't steal their free time each evening.

Let yourself be surprised how it looks in your home. Anyone know if you still can find everything again. I changed some things and some things that were not so important, are now in the guest rooms. These are also the only two rooms that I have completely rearranged. I think they look really comfortable now. In the other rooms, the furniture are still in place, but it looks much tidier now and there is much more space. I think you'll like it.

I know it's hard to believe that my father agrees with us. But he had too much time to think and I am happy with his decision.

I still like the necklace! It's totally wonderful, even if I don't wear it because it might break. I don't have any bad memories. It is now lying next to me on the nightstand in our bedroom.

Well, you want to know how I felt when I could remember back then? So shortly after the potion had worked, I knew immediately what had happened to me. I looked at you and felt so incredibly guilty and was shocked at the same time because of the things that I've said to you as Lacey. I still can't understand how I could have changed so much. I was mean, selfish, almost the whole day just drunk and liked to see if other people have been humiliated and beaten. Even worse, it's to live with the memories. Now I understand what David and Jefferson have meant when they said that this was the real curse (well my whole curse wasn't so nice...to be locked up for years without memories...then Lacey...).  
Did you find generally really my outfits so scandalous as Lacey or just because you weren't used to it with me? I mean, Ruby has a similar style when she goes out...  
Well, I could suddenly remember everything, especially our cup which I had thrown against the wall. Or when you kissed me in the hospital and I started screaming, our date, Keith, the many alcohol or your phone call. When I got my memory back on the well, our Hamburger-date, our conversation in the library, our first kiss in this world, when you saved me in the mine or when you had held me in your arms in front of the elevator after Hook had threatened me. Our first touch, our first look at my castle, our first contact when I fell off the ladder, our touch when you handed me the rose, our first hug and our very first kiss.  
When you said my name, I was suddenly relieved, although you couldn't be really happy. But I was also sad that everything had to happen, and yet I was happy and enjoyed it to stand with you arm in arm in your shop, to comfort you and to kiss you.  
I am happy that our cup looks back as before and you can be sure no one will touch it. I am guarding it with my life. :)

I already knew the lie from Regina. She probably came on the same day to me and told me about it...but please remember your promise. Let bygones be bygones. Please leave Regina alone. Due to the recent events she has suffered enough. It's time to look ahead. Each of you made wrong choices and each of you has a reason to harm the other. But what good would it do? Much better it's easy to begin from ew, and especially work together, please.  
I' relieved that you're okay. Now at least I know where you are and that you haven't killed each other. I can at least be reassured in this matter. But still, I'm worried. What's with this Peter Pan and the shadow? And how do you know some things about Neverland?  
Please be careful and try to provoke anyone. I do not want you to be very hated in Neverland by someone and that someone tried to kill you.

I thank you for your trust and for your lovely words. They help me a lot! Especially your last passage made me blush when I read it the first time. I didn't know what you were thinking at that moment and honestly, if you had taken this step, I would not have said no. But the more I'm happy if we meet again, because then I'll love you just as no woman before me!

I miss you! I'm waiting for you (as I have promised you before I was shot!) I love you!

Your Belle

P.S. I'll definitely write more about the beans. Maybe you come back again through the beans.

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**A/N: 40 reviews! Thank you all! It means a lot to me!**  
**Thank you also for the last three reviews. I'm always so happy.**  
**As always, I wish you much fun with this new chapter. I hope you like it. Write to me what you think and how you found it (sometimes even a word is enough ****;) )**


	19. Rumple

My darling Belle,

thank you for your last letter! It's nice to have this little diversion. Of course it's not boring here and there have already been some small clashes (about what our next steps are and how we will carry it), but it's always special to me when I get your letter in the evening.

Beautiful that I could make you a joy with the rose. So, I want to be honest with you, whether it's positive or negative...the rose I gave you in my castle...It wasn't from an old woman. Gaston stood in front of my gate and has challenged me to a fight. He wanted to bring you back and I couldn't allow it. I could of course fight with him, but he would have lost anyway, just as David had already lost once against me. I didn't want to let it end painful for him. I deliberately bewitched him into a rose, because I wanted to make you a joy and because I found it ironic. I hadn't expected that you cut his legs. But I'm not sorry, because you said yourself that you didn't love him. Also, I still remember your smile and how happy you was.

I hope so much that you're right! I wish nothing more at the moment than to be together with the people who I love and without having to fight constantly for one of them.  
Your words are like a balm for my soul. I know that you don't like many things which I did. And yet you write me that you forgive me, that I'm not responsible for everything and I should look to the future. You write so emotional that I even believe you. But the hardest part is really to forgive myself. You know only pieces from the things which I've done. Basically, I'm to blame for Henry' debt. At least I've created the curse to find my son. I've manipulated Regina so much that she finally pronounce the curse. I've brought magic to Storybrooke which called Tamara and Greg on the plan. It happened so much between the loss of my son in the Enchanted Forest and our first meeting. I was almost 300 years old and in that time so much has happened. I think it will be quite a while before I can forgive myself.

You mean it was "sweet" that I had to ask David for advice? I thought it was just embarrassing. I'm actually more than 300 years old and need to ask a man in the mid 30's for flirting tips. I can imagine how you start to smile now, but believe me, it wasn't funny. And of course I was also wondering what it was that you could fall in love with me. Good to know that there were, among others, my leather pants. :)  
When I think about it, I have to admit that I've fallen in love with you from the beginning. Do you remember? You heard a loud knocking in your father's castle. You all looked to the door and before I made myself known, I had enough time to watch especially you. I liked what I saw and from then on my deal was clear. To that point I hadn't expected that you would go with me. But if not, then I wouldn't have helped your dad...When you've turned to me, it had happened to me. After all, I had more than a century of time to build a thick wall around me and you just fell in. And that is why the kiss felt like a betrayal, especially since you've talked about that it worked. And I enjoyed it too much to recede it a second time. However, I needed to go into this world with magic. Also, I couldn't understand that a woman like you could love me (I still can't really understand it now...).

Well, I am still very skeptical with your father. Maybe you should ask him why...

I've seen you a few times with no memories and it was terrible. I really wanted to help you, but I couldn't. You were so helpless and so scared. And then you had even seen my magic. I couldn't tell you the truth on the day of your release. You were afraid of me before, so I had to dodge your question.  
But that night, I was so desperate. Therefore, I regret also that I've taken you to the town line. I should say goodbye to you earlier, or rather I should insist that you waited in the car. I was shocked when you lay in my arms and suddenly you couldn' remember who you are or who I am. I didn't know that you had no identity during the curse. And at the same time I was angry. I wanted to burn Hook. He should feel himself like in hell. Then the car came along and I rolled with you to the side of the street. In spite of the fear you had, I had to heal your wound. It probably hurt me more because you were still in shock anyway, but I couldn't see you with this wound. It was good that Emma, Snow and David came. Thus I was able to calm myself down and they took care of you too.  
In the hospital, I tried it with the true-love-kiss. It worked every time. So why shouldn't it work with us? But when you screamed, I was totally down. That's why I just came back with our cup two days later. Basically it functioned as the trigger from Regina only in a modified form. It should help keep your mind on the jumps. I didn't give you a new identity. And that hasn't also helped and our cup was broken. I felt like a part of me was broken too. After that, I needed some distance and went on the search for Bae with Emma and Henry.  
I can't imagine that you've been locked up in this hospital for 28 years. But if you want, then you can write me about your time in the hospital and especially why they didn't let you go.

Well, your outfit...I'd say so...I found it generally scandalous. What Ruby likes is one thing. I don't think it's okay, but it doesn't bother me. But you looked as you wanted to fall around every free man's neck...I was jealous...and I find that it doesn't suit to you. I like your clothes which you're wearing normally (but at home...I wouldn't mind...I would be just amazed ;) ).

I won't break my promise! I'll be good and Regina has rest of me. I hope it is mutual.

There is something I forgot in my last letter to write: Please take care of yourself! You've worked hard the last week and you've forgotten the weekend. I wonder how that can happen on a Sunday? But I can already imagine that you were so deep in your mind and have paid attention to anything else. Just as you need your work, rest and food is equally important. Although you write that you eat lunch at the diner, but what about in the morning and evening? So, please pay attention to yourself!

I love you!

Rumple

P.S. Caution, Dearie. Think about exactly what deals you suggest. I let you not just come out of the contract for a second time and this is related to the immortality and how you would spoil a man. ;)

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**A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. They mean a lot to me and even though I'm having sometimes a hard time when writing, your reviews recharge my batteries.**  
**Yes, I haven't in vain raised the rating a few chapters ago. You can express your feelings much more and you dare even more when you're writing. So it is with Belle and Rumple and their feelings.**  
**Have fun and of course thanks again to the favorites and follows. :))**


	20. Belle - Day 11

Dear Rumple,

after I discovered your letters yesterday (which I found on the counter in the library), I had to go to Ruby at first. She was the only one who knew about the letters. Of course I didn't tell her what we write, but I was so happy and I just had to tell her. She was more surprised than shocked. She could already imagine that I'll figured something out to get in contact with you. Otherwise, I enjoyed my day off and I relaxed as much as possible.

Today, the meeting took place finally. As I've already written in one of my last letters, Ruby, Granny, Leroy and his friends, Anton, my Father, Mother Superior and Sean were there. I discussed with them the current situation and I also told them where you are. Well, I've also told them that we have contact with each other. However, I think this is my duty as mayor. The reactions were different. Leroy and Granny reacted just like Ruby. Mother Superior and my father were rather shocked. Anton, Sean and the rest saw it more neutral.  
I also informed them about the cloaking spell. They asked me if it was a shelter on time or how it might be broken. I couldn't answer, but promised them that I would try to figure out. So, can you tell me more about it? Mother Superior knows this protection spell, by which one can go through and in which you see nothing before you overcome the barrier. However, this wouldn't be very safe. I don't think people from the Home Office would stay away.  
Then I talked about the beanstalk, which actually has a good chance. Anton said that they already grow new vines but it would still take a while. The six "dwarfs" help him again.  
Leroy, Sean and my father helped me to set up a security plan for Storybrooke. Granny takes care of the call to all residents who want to help. It depends on how many sign up, because afterwards we arrange the troops. In the morning and evening they'll check the entire town line. The "dwarfs", Anton, Sean and Ruby have initially divided into two groups. Thus, it is also ensured that the beans aren't left unattended. While the first half takes care of the beans, the other half runs the town line. I'm curious how many people will take part. Then we all went to dinner and ate something.

And while we ate I asked my father why your "relationship" is so difficult. He spoke openly to me and told me everything. That you've put him under pressure with the rent because he couldn't pay and you've confiscated his van. My father has broken in your house and has stolen everything possible, even our cup. Then you've kidnapped him and beat him up...

You really believed that I had killed me because he let me whip! Why have you believed in Regina's words? I said to him, that I find it not good. But why did you have to necessarily go in such a degree on my father? He hadn't known anything at the moment what he had done 28 years ago...  
Well, I forgive you this, but regardless it makes me sad...I can imagine how your feelings and your soul suffered among the lie (your look as we met again for the first time in your shop...you looked at me like I was a ghost). But I can now understand why you "relationship" is so difficult. But my father has once again assured me that he prefers a truce because of me, because he doesn't want to lose me. So he begins to accept you.

That you've turned Gaston into a rose, well, it's not pretty, but better than torturing him. Although I was shocked when I read that I've cut off his "legs", but I'm less shocked than about the story with my father. I haven't felt anything for Gaston, except respect and even though I think he doesn't deserve it, I think that this was still one of the best solutions from you.

You know, you're right. I think some things aren't good, you've done, but I stay by your side and I forgive you. Because I know that you're on a good path. You realize what mistakes you have committed, and that's already a good start!  
But I don't understand why you don't understand that someone...that I love you. Why is this so hard for you?

In the asylum, there was little alternation. Every day was the same: breakfast, examination, lunch, Regina's view through the door flap, dinner, sleep and in between was time for nothing. I've sat on my bench and stared in front of me, wondering who I am, why they hold me there and I lost myself in daydreams. I had no books or anything else...

When I lost my memories for the second time it was far more traumatic. We were in no time loop, and suddenly there were so many people. I could only remember my time in the hospital and then I was suddenly under the open sky, with two men who fought a battle. My shoulder hurt, you had a fire ball in hand, the car arrived, you're rolling with me to the side. As if that was not bad enough, you've called me continually Belle and I didn't know the name. I just didn't know myself. Then you have healed me, for which I am very grateful and I find it incredibly loving. But for a young woman without memories, this was just too much. I was glad when Emma, Mary Margaret and David were there and helped me. But I was even more confused and scared, when you kissed me in the hospital and then you continued to talk from magic and your castle. I became more angry, because I just wanted to have my peace and I wanted to hear nothing. I've smashed our cup and I'm still so terribly sorry and every time I think of it I might start crying. I looked in your eyes and they were so painful. You looked like I would've beaten you to the wall. But at that moment I was too confused and scared. I wanted to hear nothing and see nothing. I just wanted to be alone, like I was used to.  
Your call brought me to thinking and I realized that we had some common past. From then on I had no more fear of you, and I really have liked to see you again. But the whole time was really awful. I felt like I was nothing, nobody, an empty sheet.  
The reason why I was so long in the hospital: Mary Margaret and David have requested it. It was safer for me in the hospital until you were back.

I've no idea how I missed this weekend, but I don't forget to eat! I promise! Don't worry too much. I'm fine and I hope you too?

I love you so incredible! Isn't there a way to be able to see you?

Your Belle

P.S. Don't be afraid! I've carefully considered my two deals. Besides, you were the one who brought our deal to burst. :)

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**A/N: So, the next chapter has arrived. Have fun and as always: let me know what you think and how you liked it. :)**

**EDIT:**

**I'm sorry, but I won't be able to write a lot in the next few days. I'm also looking for a beta reader. So, I can't say exactly when the next chapter will be on. I hope you don't have to wait too long and that you read again when there's something new. :)**


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